the funk…

some call it the valley.  others call it a rough spot.  i’ve heard this place called a rut, which apparently is a grave with both ends kicked out.  these are all very good identifiers of that tough season we sometimes find ourselves in, whether it is self-inflicted or otherwise.

i will simply refer to it as “the funk” (no, not that funk, as in “all the funk and nothing but the funk”–this isn’t the good kind of funk).

please allow me to tell you a tiny bit about my funk.  as you may know, i wrote on a daily blog for a little while.  one day, as i have described it, my muse left.  i don’t know what my muse was or why it left.  i just know that one day almost out of nowhere i didn’t have that once insatiable desire to search for that “inspirado” in God’s Word to put words on a page.  unfortunately, it wasn’t just my writing that was affected by this disappearance of my muse.  it happened concerning all of my so-called “spiritual” pursuits.  i can’t say i actually walked away from God because Him and i talk everyday.  i’ve even done a little reading concerning the way i actually think concerning God, Jesus, and this Christ-life.  i just noticed that i didn’t have the desire do the good things that i had felt God led me to in the past.

in this funk, i’ve realized something.  i know God, but i don’t REALLY know Him.  what i mean is that His life is mine, but i have very little to no idea what that looks like walked out in this skin.  i have come to the realization that most, if not all, of my “spiritual” pursuits were either out of a works mentality of either trying to earn my keep in God’s kingdom or “helping God,” or it was something worse:  to have the appearance of spirituality.  it’s easy to look spiritual to the folks who wouldn’t consider themselves spiritual.

does that make me a bad person?  i don’t think so.  a little misguided or confused or even deceived, but not a bad person.  have you ever done something for so long and realized it was for the wrong reason?  have you ever analyzed your motivation?  i guess that’s where i’m at at this point.  i want my intentions to be holy and blameless before my God, but i have found that my flesh has a way of skewing my intentions.

are you like me and truly wanting to be all that you can be in/for Christ?  stop.  stop wanting, stop striving.  i mean it.  you and i already are everything we can be in Christ.  have you found yourself in a tough spot?  you are still everything you can be in Christ.  you possess it.  so why am i in this funk if i possess the identity of who God has made me to be? that’s a good question, and i truly wish that i knew the way to live out the answer i’m going to give you.  it is a matter of focus.  my funk started the second my focus got skewed.  it was probably 6 months ago.  i noticed that i felt like i had to do a lot of things because my doing became my being.  i defined myself by different things concerning religious service and my professional work.  we must lay down our right to self-definition.  why do i say that?  we are to be living sacrifices (romans 12:1) dead to self (or sin), yet alive to Christ (romans 6:11).  my life is not my own.  Christ Himself didn’t aim to please Himself (romans 15:3), but instead gave His life for all.  Jesus had one focus, and it wasn’t to save the world, though that was a by-product of His focus.  Jesus’ focus was the Father.  Jesus said He does what He sees His Father do (john 5:19).  where’s the struggle then?  if we have Jesus in us, and that was His example for us, why do we strive?

my senior pastor preached recently about simplifying life.  this got me to thinking about several different things such as volunteering, childraising, getting out of debt, and a few others.  one of the ones that very few “good church people” think about is saying no, and not just saying no to people, but saying no to the urge to put more on their plate.  Jesus said “My yoke is easy and My burden is light.”  a rabbi’s yoke was simply his way of doing things, a structure to life.  different rabbis had different structures of living that may have included incorporating different habits into everyday living that may be bothersome to most.  Jesus’ yoke was easy.  He doesn’t require much from us.  He only requires belief.  why do we think the yoke of Jesus requires so much more than that?  we don’t know God.  honestly.  i mean, look at your life.  do you do things out of ritual or habit in the name of God?  i have a few things in my life.  i would recommend getting rid of it for a little while.

here’s a thought:  what do you actually want?  i mean, if you are delighting yourself in the Lord, He has implanted desires in your heart (psalm 37:4).  what do you actually want beyond your perverted perception of “only to please God”?  i apologize to some if that is offensive, but that is where most Christians are.  we tend to think God is a hard taskmaster and His only desire is to correct our wrong actions/motives.  i must say this is far from the truth.  there is no freedom in that!!  we are free to make decisions based on a love for God instead of be bound to a set of rules given by a celestial disciplinarian.  so, i go back to that question: what do you want?  i mean, what do you really want?  what is that thing that burns in you?  when all junk is thrown aside, what is left?  when the blinders get pulled off and distractions are tossed out, what is left?  i had that moment a few weeks ago.  it was a start.  i had a perspective shift.  i realized that i was already doing the only thing i wanted to do, just for the wrong reasons.  i apologize if it’s not that easy for you, but i promise you something:  if you are honest with God, and honest with yourself, and be patient and willing to hear what God has to say to you, you will find that thing too.  fortunately, this recipe works not only for individual purpose, but also for direction.  i’m going to rock the boat a little here and say “be led by your desires.”  seriously.  if you are delighting yourself in the Lord, He has (again) implanted desires in your heart.  following your desire in that sense equates to following God.  it takes faith to step out, yes, but you will find such peace and purpose when you finally take that initial step.  you will literally say to yourself, “yeah, this FEELS right.”  it’s more than likely that not at all of your behavior needs to change, but your belief behind the behavior.

if we really believe that Jesus lives in us (galatians 2:20) and we have the mind of Christ (1 corinthians 2:16) and He puts His desires in us (psalm 37:4), then what do we have to worry about?  He has taken our heart of stone and given us His heart of flesh (ezekiel 36:26) .  the issue then is not empowerment, but focus.  the moment our focus shifts from Christ, things change when the flesh takes over.  it’s not extremely noticeable at first, but over a little time it does become evident.  subtle deception changes your motives.  i promise you that.

there are several types of funks.  some are short, some are long, some are major, most are minor.  some are just the non-mountaintop experiences God allows us to go through to build character, and others are deep valleys of being in the fire of His choosing.  though some funks are not our fault, most were self-inflicted.

moses went through a self-inflicted funk.  he murdered an egyptian guard then fled for his life.  rather than rebuild a life somewhere else, he wandered and hid in a wilderness for 40 years before God lit a bush on fire and gave him new purpose and vision.  though there were very practical reasons moses hid, i would imagine he allowed his past to keep him from moving forward for some time while he was in the desert wilderness.  have you ever allowed a past mistake define your future?  moses did.

when you find yourself in any kind of funk, remember the simple acronym t.a.g.:

turn:  stop relying on yourself or even others for answers (remember job, one of God’s favorites?  he had some pretty terrible “friends”).  turn your focus back to Christ, and off of the funk you’re in.  we begin to question so many things, including the goodness of God.  sometimes we simply need to just stop, take blame for our mess, and be an adult.  the issue happened when we turned our focus off of God, even if it just for a little while.  it is very easy to be overcome by your circumstances.  trust me, i actually do understand.  i lost about 3 years of my life because of a circumstance i refused to take my focus off of.

ask:  ask God questions.  why am i in this funk? (if the funk wasn’t of your own making).   is there something You want me to learn while i’m here?   i guess that is that hard question to ask because we get so intent on getting out of “that season” that our efforts are counterproductive.  we begin to spend so much time and effort spinning our wheels to get out of the valley/funk/dry season that we miss God’s teaching/discipline/correction completely.  if the funk was initiated by something outside of your control, allow God to heal you and allow Him to walk you out of that season.

go:  keep moving forward.  don’t look back.  this is probably the hardest part of the funk.  it is easy to become depressed or buckle under the oppression of the devil.  when you are in a funk, you generally are simply beaten down by life in general or even just a single decision.  it is hard to stand in this place, much less move forward.  been there, done that.  somedays it seems like the devil is only coming after you.  i understand the feeling completely.  let’s imagine for just a second that the devil concentrated all of his armies and all of his personal efforts on you to bring you down then put you in a funk.  what then?  you still have the One inside of you that has overcome the world (john 16:33).

one day a few weeks ago, i was talking to God briefly about 2013.  i asked Him “what do You want me to focus on in 2013?”  He had a simple answer.  “Me first.”  that was the end of that conversation.  my thoughts thereafter went toward “and then what?”  i didn’t have the nerve to ask as i knew exactly what He was talking about.  sometimes we just need to get our mind/heart back to the place that nothing besides God matters.  you might think your exploits for God matter, but if your heart’s not where it needs to be, they don’t.  you won’t see the results you desire and then try harder to achieve the results and leave God’s rest and lose focus of God.  sometimes it is healthy to take a step back only to refocus.  that is exactly the season i’m in right now.  refocusing.  not refocusing on ministry or work, but on God.  out of that, my ministry and work become an extension of that focus and can be done excellently in complete rest, without (perceived) pressure from God to perform.

now, i need to address a different side of the coin (yes, this coin has more than two sides).

do not, and i repeat, do not confuse lack of commitment or a lack of a spirit of excellence or good character with a funk.  that is something else that is very easy to do.  when God calls you to something, He doesn’t give you the license to stop only because it stopped feeling good doing it.  i do understand this thought is hard to reconcile with co-laboring with God in rest.  i’ve heard it said to stop “working for God when it feels burdensome.”  there is a lot of truth to that, but some see that as the easy way out.  when something gets tough, that may very well be one of those times God is proving your character.

has God ever called you to go deeper?  it seemed impossible at first, didn’t it?  i won’t call it a “Christian discipline,” but there are certain disciplines in following Christ.  i don’t even know if i would consider them absolute disciplines.  i think you know what i’m talking about.  if i don’t talk to God on my way to work or at least meditate on Him, i find i end up having a pretty terrible and fruitless day.  would you consider a good day your reward for faithfully praying?  no.  that’s ridiculous.  i have had bad days after i’ve poured my heart to God.  i just am better prepared for the effects of a bad day.  i can see fruit within an off day when i’ve started it with prayer.  prayer is a way i focus on God.  meditation is a way i focus on God.  there are some days that writing is how i focus.  i can focus on God in a myriad of ways, just like anybody else.  focus in my life is a much needed discipline.  i guess focus is in fact an absolute discipline if you are interested in living the Christ-life.

it is tempting to think that we can simply flow into the deep.  does a diver simply “flow” into the deep?  no.  there is no way.  they need their diving suit, their breathing apparatus, and they definitely need to know how to dive.  i don’t know how to dive properly.  i do a great cannonball or belly-flop.  i remember when i was a young boy growing up in phoenix, arizona.  we used to go to the pool fairly often, especially during the summer.  i remember my best friend’s dad knew how to dive.  it wasn’t a very big pool, so i’m not sure how big of a deal this is, but my friend’s dad could dive in one end and swim underwater to the other end without getting a breath.  how?  he had experience and possibly training.  he was conditioned for diving.  he had a technique that would propel him to simply glide under the water.  i couldn’t swim 20 feet under water without coming up for air.  why is this important?  not sure exactly, except for the fact that we must keep in mind that we must be prepared for the deep, otherwise we simply won’t be able to get there.

let’s go back to focus.  if you are constantly distracted, i promise you that you won’t be going deep in God.  you can’t.  if your flesh rules, you will not go deep in God, and you definitely won’t walk out of your valley.  what is it that your flesh longs for?  curse that thing.  it could be any temptation, it could be an idea.  you have the power of life and death in your tongue, and in Christ, you are able to curse that which is not of Him.  step into who God has made you to be and be more than a conqueror.

in the last few weeks, i have heard catch words like “resolution” and “determination” and “endurance.”  these are the words that define the journey out of the funk.

we must resolve to focus on God.

we must determine within ourselves that God is the only way out.

we must endure to the end.

i pray that as you go through rough seasons that you would remember that you are not alone.  you have a very capable God to lead you through the funk.

 

let me pray for you:

“Father, You are our faith and our hope.  You are our Sustainer and our Deliverer.  there is nothing that we go through that catches You off-guard.  thank You for the dry season as we can be more conscious that You are near.  amen.”

get your focus off your but

I had the opportunity to preach at my home church on Sunday, 08.12.12.   Here is the transcript in case you missed it.

 

Quick bio:  My name is Justin Ashcraft, and I am a lover of God first and foremost.  I am a husband, I get an income from Nationwide Insurance, and I do a few things here at the church.

Now, open your Bibles to Exodus 4 and keep your finger there.  We’ll actually be hopping all over Exodus this morning.  Speaking of hopping, I am prone to rabbit trails.  Please forgive me.  I must confess I planned a few of them in this life.message.  It’s the unplanned ones you have to watch out for. I have a feeling today may be fun.  I hope to make you laugh, make you want to throw something at me, and make you think.  Buckle up, it’s going to be an interesting day.

There is a question that half of society asks that will get the other half of society in grave trouble more times than not.  The response to this question should be pre-meditated as the question will be asked at some point in time.  The answer must be one voiced in confidence otherwise the answer may be construed in such a way that is detrimental to the survival of the one answering the question.  The question is “does this make my butt look big?”

Husbands, hopefully you have your answer.  A resounding no.

Today, I want to discuss buts.  They come in all shapes and sizes, and have an elevated level of importance to the one that owns and possesses said but.

By the way, I am referring to the conjunction now, so you can take a deep breath if you need to.

The word “but” is one that negates a previous statement.

“You did really well on this project, but…”

“Oh honey, you’re makeup looks great, but…”

“Oh honey, I know you wanted to go to that monster truck rally, but…”

You say the word “but”, and I forget what was said before.  I can only focus on the “but.”

More on buts in a few moments…

Before I get into our text today, let me give a little background on our hero.  In Exodus 2, Moses kills an Egyptian who was mercilessly beating one of Moses’ Hebrew brothers.  The other guards catch wind of this, and Moses flees for his life.  He is in a wilderness for forty years.  In the wilderness, God appears to him in a burning bush.  God shows Moses great and mighty things about how he is going to deliver the Hebrews from the hands of Pharaoh and the Egyptians.  We spend Exodus 3 at the burning bush, and Moses poses a question.  Let’s go to Exodus 4:

Exodus 4:1-17

4 Then Moses answered and said, “But suppose they will not believe me or listen to my voice; suppose they say, ‘The Lord has not appeared to you.’” 2 So the Lord said to him, “What is that in your hand?” He said, “A rod.”

3 And He said, “Cast it on the ground.” So he cast it on the ground, and it became a serpent; and Moses fled from it. 4 Then the Lord said to Moses, “Reach out your hand and take it by the tail” (and he reached out his hand and caught it, and it became a rod in his hand), 5 “that they may believe that the Lord God of their fathers, the God of Abraham, the God of Isaac, and the God of Jacob, has appeared to you.”

Stop there for a second.

Last week, Pastor Wayne talked about the obvious and talked briefly about Moses’ rod.   This rod was a type of embodiment of the power of God.   Moses had nothing to worry about.  He literally held a dispensation of the power of God in his hands.

Moses’ rod naturally was little more than a common walking stick.  I know sometimes that when I think of Moses parting the Red Sea, I see him putting a kingly golden scepter into the ground.  Nope, it was just a walking stick.  I could get into a message of “what do you hold in your hand,” but I’ll save that message for another day.  So, Moses has a magic slightly modified tree branch.  Verse 6:

6 Furthermore the Lord said to him, “Now put your hand in your bosom.” And he put his hand in his bosom, and when he took it out, behold, his hand was leprous, like snow. 7 And He said, “Put your hand in your bosom again.” So he put his hand in his bosom again, and drew it out of his bosom, and behold, it was restored like his other flesh.

Before I looked up the meaning of word bosom in these two verses, I thought the miracle was Moses punching a hole into his stomach.  Sorry, I’m not extremely qualified to do an exegesis on the Torah.  Moses apparently didn’t punch a hole in his stomach.  He simply reached inside his shirt.  Now that we have that settled, because I knew you were as worried about it as I was, let’s look at this miracle.  So Moses’ hand goes in his shirt, and comes out nasty looking.  It goes back in to come out again, and is perfectly fine.  This sign was for nobody else other than Moses.  Has God ever shown Himself to you and only you?  Think about that for a second.  The God of the universe has the capacity to single you out and allow you to experience something only to show you that He can do it.  This is a ridiculously amazing concept to me.  Moving on…

8 “Then it will be, if they do not believe you, nor heed the message of the first sign, that they may believe the message of the latter sign. 9 And it shall be, if they do not believe even these two signs, or listen to your voice, that you shall take water from the river and pour it on the dry land. The water which you take from the river will become blood on the dry land.”

Ok, God just turned a walking stick into a snake and gave Moses only a temporary case of leprosy just to show him a couple of His tricks. Then, God gives Moses a third miracle as a backup.  The third serves as a precursor to Moses one day turning a river into blood.  Let’s run over to Exodus 7:20 just really quick.  In verse 19, Moses receives a command from God to tell Aaron (we’ll talk more about him later) to raise his rod and hold it over the river and watch the water turn to blood.  Now, the Nile is not exactly Tierra Blanca Creek.  One, the Nile has water in it, and two, the Nile is the longest river in the world.  Let’s only look at the end of this verse:

7:20 ..And all the waters that were in the river were turned to blood.

All.  All of the waters turned to blood!!  Pretty big miracle, right?  That is what God was alluding to with the “backup” miracle.

I personally would have been convinced at this point.  What Moses should have said is, “I can do this, and I have God on my side.  That snake was scary and the leprosy was nasty, but God knows what He’s doing.  But instead, we have this gem in verse 10:

10 Then Moses said to the Lord, “O my Lord, I am not eloquent, neither before nor since You have spoken to Your servant; but I am slow of speech and slow of tongue.”

The Message version puts it this way:

10 Moses raised another objection to God: “Master, please, I don’t talk well. I’ve never been good with words, neither before nor after you spoke to me.  I stutter and stammer.”

Now stop there for just a second. “But God, I stutter.”  This was Moses’ great argument to the Creator of the universe.  God thought that Moses’ response was so strong, legitimate and compelling that He says (verse 11):

11 So the Lord said to him, “Who has made man’s mouth? Or who makes the mute, the deaf, the seeing, or the blind? Have not I, the Lord? 12 Now therefore, go, and I will be with your mouth and teach you what you shall say.” 13 But he said, “O my Lord, please send by the hand of whomever else You may send.”

In other words, Moses replied “send somebody else!!  Just not me!!” Now watch what happens in verse 14:

14 So the anger of the Lord was kindled against Moses and He said: “Is not Aaron the Levite your brother? I know that he can speak well. And look, he is also coming out to meet you. When he sees you, he will be glad in his heart. 15 Now you shall speak to him and put the words in his mouth. And I will be with your mouth and with his mouth, and I will teach you what you shall do. 16 So he shall be your spokesman to the people. And he himself shall be as a mouth for you, and you shall be to him as God. 17 And you shall take this rod in your hand, with which you shall do the signs.”

Now, let’s revisit verse 14.  I see God kind of hunched over in a coach’s position talking to Moses like, “ok.  This is what’s going to happen whether you like it or not.  Aaron’s coming this way and he will be glad in his heart, “and God gives Moses the rest of the plan for the day.  I don’t think God gets frustrated with me since God took out all of His anger for me on Jesus on the cross.  The cross hadn’t happened yet, so God still maintained His ability to get mad.

But God I stutter.  We now have a setting for the struggle of Moses.

To sum up these 17 verses, God gives Moses a rod, turns it a snake, turns it back into a rod, gives Moses temporary leprosy, gives Moses a third possible option of a miracle if the people don’t listen to Him, then “but God I stutter.”  God gets mad, and then He gives Moses a mouthpiece and a promise.

Did you know that this was only the first time Moses reminded God of his speech issue?  God and Moses are rehashing the issue of leading the Hebrews and getting through to Pharaoh.  Let’s go to Exodus 6:12:

12 Moses answered God, “Look—the Israelites won’t even listen to me.  How do you expect Pharaoh to?  And besides, I stutter.”

I love verse 13:

13 But God again laid out the facts to Moses and Aaron regarding the Israelites and Pharaoh King of Egypt, and he again commanded them to lead the Israelites out of the land of Egypt.

Did you notice the use of the word “again”?

Did you know this was only the second time Moses reminded God of his speech issue?  Yep, there’s a third.

First, verse 29:

29 God addressed Moses, saying, “I am God.  Tell Pharaoh King of Egypt everything I say to you.”

Guess what?  Watch this:

30 And Moses answered, “Look at me.  I stutter.  Why would Pharaoh listen to me?”

To save redundancy, we won’t go into chapter seven. God just tells Moses yet again the plan of him and Aaron taking on Pharaoh and coming out victorious.  Do you get the plan?  Do you get the picture?

Now that the table is set, I want to hang out in verse 30 for a little while.

And Moses answered

I think the part that bothers me most about this verse is the first three words.  “And Moses answered.”  And Moses answered?  Was verse 29 a question?  I possibly take the Bible too literally sometimes.  I apologize.  I like to feel the Word.  Anyway, God says that He is God, then issues a direct command to tell Pharaoh everything He says.  What I don’t understand is what necessitated a response other than “yes Lord.”  Before we even get into the crazy part of this verse, how many times have we answered God when He wasn’t asking a question?

I remember an old billboard that said, “what part of ‘thou shalt not’ don’t you understand?” and something I read about Moses not delivering the Ten Suggestions but the Ten Commandments.  God’s Word should not be up to debate.  We see examples of when an intercessor such as Abraham pleaded with God for the people.  That’s different.  Abraham had the interests of the people in his heart.  Abraham wasn’t looking to be disobedient.  When God gives you a direct command, it is not up for discussion.  We don’t barter with God.  I am thankful that God doesn’t deal harshly with me as He would have under the old covenant.  Just because God deals in grace nowadays doesn’t mean His Word is debatable.  God’s Word is still absolute truth.  Period.  You are sadly mistaken if you think you can be the child that is always asking his/her parents “why?”  The child’s response of “why?” is generally not a question to acquire knowledge from an authority, but a defiant questioning of authority.  I believe there is a huge difference between asking God a question and questioning God.  Fortunately, it’s not a line that can be easily blurred.  That line is the one between an obedient and submissive heart and the heart of one who is disobedient.

Our questions to God must be submitted with a humble heart.  It is with a proud heart that one questions God.  In answering God, Moses was questioning God.   

I have to say this to avoid any confusion:  It is good to answer God if He asks you a question.  That means you talk to God.  That is completely ok.  When God gives you a command, the only question that may possibly be appropriate is “how,” as in “how far and how high?”  We must decision to be obedient to God regardless of how our flesh feels.  Questioning God will come from the flesh.  That defiant disobedience is not from our new man or our Spirit.

I’ve told this story before in different venues and I will probably tell it differently yet again.

There was a man who had been seeking God on getting direction for His life.  God told the man, “Go.”  This man spent the next six months searching God’s word and getting input from other people around him.  He got weary and wore out and finally came back to God and asked, “Go where?”  God says “Go left.”  The man spends another several months seeking the right positioning and more opinion.  Frustrated, the man goes back to God and insists on a specific direction.  Sure enough, in His faithfulness, God gives the man everything he needed to know about where to go, then asks “why did a 30 second conversation take a full year?”

It is good to ask God questions.  Don’t ever question God.

Look at me

And now for the next three words.  “Look at me.”  Where is Moses’ focus?  Is it on God?  No.  Is it even on the task at hand?  Nope.  Moses’ focus has made it back to himself.  Back in Exodus 4, God shows two incredible miracles with a third on tap.  Where did Moses’ focus go?  On himself.

Moses spent two chapters of the Bible talking to God in a burning bush.  I guess Moses is a little stubborn.  Can any of you relate?  I know I can!!  I constantly struggle with putting the focus on me.

I stutter

These three words bleed into the next two:  “I stutter.”

The first eight words of this verse can be summed up and possibly rewritten into four words:  “But God, I stutter.”  Do you remember what I said about that word “but.”  It has the power to negate the thought right before it.  Moses was unable to grasp what God was saying because he insisted on his “but.”

I’ve had a big “but” before.  Let me for a few minutes give you a snap shot of my journey of bringing my wife and I back to Hereford.

In about December of 2009, God began seriously calling me and my wife back to Hereford.  My “but” was concerning work.  God had given me every confirmation He needed to show me that Hereford was the right move.  At the time, God had me working for a retail giant as an underpaid supervisor.  I know I’m the only one in the room that could possibly relate.  Anyway, I simply wanted a better life for my wife and I, and I didn’t think Hereford could offer that.  I am not as tough as the men in our body.  I need a cushy desk job.  I need air conditioning.  I couldn’t do what most of you guys do.  I’m a city boy through and through.  I don’t have an agricultural bone in my body and I just never felt I was wired to thrive professionally in this area.  I’m just being honest.  So, one night, I am driving south on Bulverde Rd in San Antonio, Texas pouring my heart out to God.  “Lord, I know that you’ve called me and my wife back to the beef capital of the world, but…”  There it is.  The objection in my mind negated what my mind thought of what God said previously.

“But, I can’t survive there.”

“But, I’m a city boy.”

“But, what about my wife?  What will she do there?

These, to me, were very valid arguments.  I would like to think my heart wanted to follow the call back to the Panhandle.

So, God answered my “but” with a single word: “Nationwide.”; just as plain as I am talking to you.  Thinking about it now, I guess I could have had more questions to ask, but God melted away my objection that day with a single word.  That word happened to be the name of the company that I am currently one of the lead agents on a pilot project that has the potential to revolutionize the entire insurance industry.  God gave me a single word, and He has not only provided for me, but has promoted me and given me great opportunity in that company.

Ok.  So the work issue was solved.  I then managed to run into a speed bump when God ended up putting us in a church in Amarillo.  “Well, that’s not right.  I mean, it couldn’t be.  A call to Hereford meant Hereford.” is what I thought.  I seriously wrestled with that idea.  We ended up being a part of an incredible church in Amarillo taking part in ministry there, and then an out of the blue, a conversation happened when I asked Pastor Wayne about the state of the tech team.  Within a week I was in charge of the website.  My wife and I would still be at our church in Amarillo for a few months.  We came back to Trinity Life on Easter of 2011, and have grown so much in this body in the last 16 months.

I had my “but” then God gave me an answer.  Then to test my heart, He threw a curve at me.

Our “but” is essentially the thing we worry about and put more faith in than God.  Our “but” is our fear.  Our “but” is that thing we raise about this to all but say “I know what You’re able to do, but I don’t think You’ve ever encountered this.”

Why would Pharaoh listen to me?

“Why would Pharaoh listen to me?”  Moses apparently still thought it was his word that Pharaoh was listening to.

I have heard a lot of ridiculous things in my lifetime, but one thing that never ceases to amaze me is the line of thinking that puts us above God.  How do we put ourselves above God?  By thinking we are responsible for Him.  So, we take ownership of God’s Word, and not in the good way.  We water His word down and make excuses for it.

It wasn’t Moses’ responsibility for Pharaoh to accept what he said.  It was Moses’ responsibility to do what God told him to do and plant the seed.  What is odd to me is this question after hearing God tell him that He would harden Pharaoh’s heart.  We see this in Exodus 4:21 when God says “I will harden his heart, so that he will not let the people go.”  The cards were already stacked against Moses.  Of course Pharaoh wasn’t going to listen to Moses.  Moses already knew this.  Maybe I’ll ask Moses when we meet in glory.  Why didn’t you get it?  You only made God angry and gave preachers for the next several thousand years a sermon.  Oh well, I guess that’s my cross to bear.

I know it sounds like I’m giving Moses a hard time.  He is among the top five people I want to meet when I get to heaven, up there with King David, the Apostle Paul, Elijah, and the prophet Isaiah.  I left out Jesus because I have already met Him.  Moses is somebody I will always learn something from.  This entire ordeal just baffles me though.

So, we hear “But God, I stutter” three times.

What did God do with Moses’ objection?

 

1. God reminded Moses of Who He is.

 

Unfortunately, sometimes we need to be reminded of the simple fact that God is God, and we are not.  We sometimes think we have it all figured out, so we submit our “buts” to God.  God will not scold us with “who do you think you are?” as countless parents for generations have done, but He will remind us with “Who do you think I am?” then tell us Who He is.

 

1. God reminded Moses of His plan.

 

There should’ve never been any doubt in Moses’ mind that God wanted to deliver the Hebrews from the hands of the Egyptians.

 

If you’ve been around church and Christians any amount of time, you have heard Jeremiah 29:11 which says “I have it all planned out—plans to take care of you, not abandon you, plans to give you the future you hope for.”  Maybe that was the issue.  Maybe Moses thought He missed God.  How many of us have done that?  We say, “Please confirm Your word Lord.”  Sometimes we actually think that we missed Him, but other times, it’s out of the same doubtful heart that Moses exhibited.

 

1. If those don’t work God might bring an alternative to overcome your insistency of your shortcoming.

Please don’t hear me say that God honors disobedience.  I don’t know why Moses couldn’t get through his stutter.  I also don’t know why God didn’t heal His stutter.  I know He could have.  God can heal anything.  I believe God wanted to show Himself strong in His servant.

Let’s sit on this point for just a few minutes.  Because Moses made sure his stutter issue stopped him from speaking to Pharaoh, God brought Aaron.  Aaron was Moses’ brother, and had a knack for public speaking.

Here is another theory.  What if all of this was part of God’s grand purpose to show us the lesson He’s teaching me as I speak?  What if God used Moses’ speech issue as a way to elevate Aaron?  I believe Aaron would have been an important part of Moses’ organization either way, but God picked him to be the mouth piece of arguably the most significant figure of Israel’s history prior of King David.  Yes, we can argue about Old Testament patriarchs later.

God’s purpose for you is bigger than just you.  God used Aaron mightily as well, in support of Moses of course.  God will honor you even if He has called you to another person.

Let’s jump over to Exodus 17 really quick.  We have gotten through the plagues, but Aaron is still a very important person in Moses’ life.  God set up a showdown between Israel and the Amalekites.  I won’t read the scripture, but very quickly, this battle was determined by Moses’ arms being in the air or not.  When Moses’ arms were up, Joshua’s army was winning.  When Moses’ arms got tired and fell down, Joshua’s army was losing.  Very quickly, Aaron and Hur realized this sign taking place before them and made sure that Moses’ arms were up.  This passage is a sign of the reason we lift we each other up in prayer.

 

Did you know God has a bigger but than we do?

 

In Matthew 19, Jesus is talking to the disciples about how difficult it is for a rich man to get to heaven.  The disciples were astonished by what Jesus had to say and they pose the question of “who then can be saved?”  The disciples saw an impossible situation.

26 But Jesus looked at them and said to them, “With men this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.”

Did you see it?  There’s God’s but.  All things are possible with God.  A few years ago, Pastor Wayne talked about our issue from God’s perspective and how we can look at it from His perspective by doing this (raise thumb, close eye, and make everybody’s head tiny)

Let’s look at how this passage is translated in the Message:

23-24 As he watched him go, Jesus told his disciples, “Do you have any idea how difficult it is for the rich to enter God’s kingdom? Let me tell you, it’s easier to gallop a camel through a needle’s eye than for the rich to enter God’s kingdom.”  25 The disciples were staggered. “Then who has any chance at all?”  26 Jesus looked hard at them and said, “No chance at all if you think you can pull it off yourself. Every chance in the world if you trust God to do it.”

Verse 26 speaks to all of the impossible situations we’re faced with.  Has God ever asked you to do the impossible?  I think He asks us all to do the impossible.

For example, it is physically impossible for a body to come back to life after it has been dead for three days.  The fourth day almost serves as proof that a body is really dead.  Jesus raised Lazarus from the dead on the fourth day.  Jesus was given every chance in the world to perform that miracle because He trusted God with every fiber of His being.

Moses was given the impossible task of talking to Pharaoh.  One, Moses apparently had a stuttering issue, and second, even if Moses could get through to Pharaoh, God hardened Pharaoh’s heart.  Moses’ focus was on himself, thus all of the hesitation.  Once God broke through Moses’ argument, Moses simply performed miracle after miracle after miracle.

Watch this.  From the plagues, Moses parts the Red Sea, then unparts it on top of Pharaoh’s army, completely taking out the primary threat to the Israelites at that time.  Moses also got water from a stone, and managed to keep several hundred thousand people alive on just water and manna from heaven for decades.  Nothing too big, though.  Then we get to Exodus 17 and we saw God use his arms to facilitate victory over a real army.  That is the power of focus.  You can truly do anything when your focus is on God.  Get your focus off of your “but” and onto God.   If the Israelites knew this, they wouldn’t have pushed Moses for the law that Jesus ended up coming a few thousand years later to eradicate.

There are times when God has an (almost) immediate solution for our argument, but there are times when He has already given us the strength to do what He wants.  Let’s shift gears for a few minutes.

Did you know Jesus even had a but?

Yes.  In the garden, Jesus asks for a different way than dying the horrific death that He knew was coming for years.  Stop there for a second.  How would you like to know everything about everything which included your own brutal death given to you by a world you did nothing but good for?  I’m sure I would have some kind of objection.

Let’s take a look into the struggle in Matthew 26:

39 He went a little farther and fell on His face, and prayed, saying “O My Father, if it is possible, let this cup pass from Me; nevertheless, not as I will, but as You will.”

In the middle of this struggle, Jesus’ friends are sleeping.  Have you ever been in an intense struggle in your life and have felt like nobody cared?  Jesus knows how you feel.  He’s been there.

42 Again, a second time, He went away and prayed, saying, “O My Father, if this cup cannot pass away from Me unless I drink it, Your will be done.”

Jesus comes back to the disciples again, and they were sleeping again.

44 So he left them, went away again, and prayed the third time, saying the same words.

Jesus, the Son of God, shows His humanity here.  Don’t miss what Jesus is doing here.  He is giving God His desire while honoring God. This is the difference between Jesus and Moses.  Moses allowed his objection to detract from God’s purpose.  I know God wasn’t surprised by Moses objections, but I also don’t think it really was God’s original plan to bring in a mouthpiece for a guy that simply was too stubborn to get over his personal issues.

I truly think that we need to present our objections to God, but not in a defiant way.  We also need to present our desires to God.  We are told to ask God for things even though He knows.  I think our objections work the same way.  The issue is when our objections or shortcomings become our focus and we miss what God is desiring to do through us.  Sure, He can always use somebody else, but the Creator of the Universe wants to use you. 

Most of us have seen or heard this, but let me give you a few more folks with objections and shortcomings that ended up being ok.

Noah was a drunk, but he managed to singlehandedly continue humanity.

Abraham was too old and his wife was barren, but through them we saw the birth of the nation of God’s people

Jacob was a liar and fought with God, but when God got a hold of him, he got a name change and God got Israel.

Joseph was abused and thrown in a pit, but he ended up prime minister of Egypt.

Samson had long hair and was a womanizer but he brought God’s judgment to a people that needed it.

Rahab was a prostitute but she gave Joshua and Caleb a place to hide.

Jeremiah and Timothy were too young but they have books of the Bible named after them.

David was an adulterer and a murderer, but he ended up being Israel’s greatest king and a man after God’s own heart.

Elijah was suicidal but he was the Old Testament type of Jesus.

Elisha had a pride issue and killed 42 youths by summoning 2 shebears, but he had a double portion of Elijah’s anointing.

Isaiah preached naked but he prophesied the gospel (see Isaiah 53)

John the Baptist ate bugs but ushered in the Christ

Peter denied Christ, but was Christ’s rock and ended up being the first pope.

Paul was too religious and killed Christians, but ended up writing 2/3 of the New Testament.

And last, but not least,

Lazarus was dead!

What is your but?  Is it a failed job?  A failed marriage?  A moral failure?  Do you continue to live with the shame of something in your past, or even something in your present?

If you have objection to God, surrender it today.  Please.  Don’t be like Moses and make things difficult on yourself.  Get your focus off your but and on Jesus

when confusion strikes…

out of the crucible of a current dilemma, i pose the question “what do you do when you are confused?”  and not just thinking about if you put away those socks or not, but did you really hear God?  did you make the right move?  did you take the right job?  i mean, the things that we really think about.

there are a few things to consider when confusion hits.

first, consider 1 corinthians 14:33:  God is not the author of confusion, but of peace…

i heard a message several months ago that we have two and only two sources of information:  God and our adversary, the devil.  that’s it.  not a third source that we are proud enough to think of: ourselves.  in every decision, we literally have God on one shoulder, the devil on the other.  we are physically unable to disregard both sources.  if we disregard either source, by default we are regarding or following the other source.  example:  galatians 5:16:  walk by the Spirit, and you won’t fulfill the lusts of the flesh.  in giving total regard to the Spirit, we are able to not regard (at all) the flesh.  not regarding is more than disregarding.  disregarding is focused on the very thing you are disregarding.  not regarding generally means you are regarding something else.  it is not even ignoring (an intentional act), but simply having your back to as your focus is on something else.  our best fight against the devil is a focus on God and being within His covering and allowing Him to fight our adversary.  i understand warfare, and i do warfare in intercession, but for myself, i only get under God’s covering.  He is my protection.

i said all that to say that confusion comes from the second source of information.  to further illustrate that point, let’s go back to the garden of eden.  God asks adam and eve, “who told you that you were naked?” (genesis 3:11).  this is the acknowledgement of a second source of information.  adam and eve didn’t independently discover they were naked.  all they had known was the first Source of information.  the devil, through advising of the tree of knowledge of good and evil, showed them their nakedness, and they hid and covered up.

God is the author of peace.  galatians 5:22 says peace is in fact part of the fruit of the Spirit.  we find our peace in Him.  2 timothy 1:7 says “the Lord hasn’t given us a spirit of fear, but of love, power, and a sound mind.”  confusion is simply a bi-product of fear.  you might ask “how did you come to that logic?”  thanks for asking, let me tell you.  why haven’t you made a decision?  you fear making the wrong one.  if you go left and find the grass is greener on the right side, you’ll have regret.  you don’t want to have regret about your decision, so you become driven by fear.  instead, be driven by peace.  i have come to equate a sound mind with peace.  (listening to eli’s “i’ll stay right here” and the bridge says “bring peace.”  thought that was kinda cool)

second, let’s consider this thought.  just ask.  matthew 7:7 says “ask and you will receive, seek and you will find, knock and the door will be opened for you.”  for some reason, we think we have it all figured out.  then, when we find we have nothing figured out after days, months, or years of struggle, then we go to God.  i’ve shared this story a few times over the last several weeks with some friends of mine.

a man who is earnestly seeking God asks God what he needs to do.  God tells him “go.”  the man fervently tries to find exactly what God meant by the word “go,” looking at his past experience, and what is going on in his world.  after months, the man finally gives in and says to God, “go where?”  God replies “go to the left.”  again, the man spends months trying to decipher God’s message.  another conversation goes the same way the second did and God gives another word and the man spends a year trying to figure out the concealed meaning of the three words put together.  two years have gone by, and the man has grown wiser.  he finally stops and asks God the exactly where and exactly when without the leaving the conversation with any doubt.  God not only answers His questions quickly, but says “a 20 second conversation could’ve saved you two years.”

i have no idea where i heard this story or how true to the original it is, but you get the point.  we think we can figure it out.  we conjure up direction in the name of an inner knowledge of God, and end up worse off than when we began.

by the way, this post is for me.  i hope you get something out of it too.

i value persistent prayer.  i don’t value prayer in place of obedience.  what i mean by that is if God has told me to take a specific step and i don’t take that step because i am praying about the second step.  once you get an answer, go!!!  i can’t stress this enough.  if it isn’t time, God won’t say go.  when God told the disciples to go and make disciples of the nations, it was a “now” word.  God’s action words are just that: action words.  words that send us to action.  if He says “go,” go.  if He says “stay,” stay.  He has told me to shut up.  i generally shut up.  there’s nothing like the Creator of the universe telling you to shut your pie hole.  it’s humbling and liberating at the same time.  i made this statement to my brother jeff last week:  “sometimes we overcomplicate an already complicated God.”  what i meant by that statement is that God has infinite levels to understand, but He gives us the keys of understanding of the level we need now, and we overcomplicate it.  if God says move, ask where, and go.  that’s it.  He will give you the next step when He is ready to give it to you.  unfortunately, God lives outside of time and sometimes has very little to no concern for your timetable.  ok.  i lied.  He never has concern for your timetable.  He expects us to trust His word that He desires to prosper us and not harm us (jeremiah 29:11).  He expects us to not worry, so by default, He gives us nothing to worry about.

 

the third thing to consider is what was the last thing God said?  i am as guilty about this as anybody.  i think the plan changed when it gets difficult.  nope.  He said we’re going to the other side (mark 4, luke 8).  after He said this, a tropical storm hit.  the disciples went nuts, and to them, all of a sudden, their sleeping Savior didn’t care anymore.  Jesus, as only Jesus can, said “where is your faith?”  He might as well have said, “didn’t I say we were going to the other side?”  Jesus then calms the storm, and everything is fantastic.  Jesus was taking a nap.  that’s it.  He hadn’t forgotten about his adopted grown men.  He hadn’t forgotten about the ones whose lives were committed to Him.  He was just taking a nap.  i’m not sure what would’ve happened if they didn’t wake Jesus.  i’d be willing to bet that they would’ve gotten through the storm as He said they would.  fear set in, and confusion made the disciples not trust the last thing Jesus said.  can you relate?  i know i can.

 

a fourth thing to consider:  what if God’s purpose for you is higher than your circumstance?  i saw an example of this firsthand last week.  sometimes God won’t take us forward because He wants to reveal Himself to us first.  something that has been heavy on my heart this week has been that we need to seek His face and not only His hands.  we must have relationship with God, and not only go after what He can do for us.  God can flip the switch on your situation instantaneously, but He may want to love on you first.  the reason you aren’t “doing everything God has called you to” may simply be because He wants you.  i said this this week: “do we think God views us like we view Him: that He’s more interested in what we can do for Him than just having us?”  that is the farthest thing from the truth.  He is more concerned about just hanging out with us than He is about our ministry projects, believe it or not.  i know this flies in the face of many theologians, but it’s true.  that is the essence of grace.  we don’t do good works because we have to, but because we want to as good works are the fruit of a relationship with God.  james says faith without works is dead (james 2:17).  so, the converse of this statement could read, “faith with works is alive.”  better yet, “faith with supporting action is alive.” work is a four letter word in many grace based organizations, but works here simply means a demonstration of faith.  works become an extension of who we are rather than a striving toward something we are trying to earn and maintain.  i didn’t try to get saved.  why have i been one to try to keep my salvation?  this was a tough lesson when God showed me that when we mix law and grace, it makes Him sick.  grace produces good works.  law demands good works.

with all of that being said, we can lay to rest the need to do good works.  if we focus on God, good works become a part of who we are, and there is no striving to do good things.  Jesus didn’t strive; why should we?  i actually learned an extremely important lesson last night at a prayer meeting with a couple brothers:  sometimes God wants to say nothing, and He wants me to say nothing, but be together.  this idea materialized when i found myself flat on my face in His presence and neither one of us said a word.  my mind was blank, and i had never felt such peace in my life.  that is what God’s presence does:  it brings peace without any need to strive.

if you find yourself striving, stop.  God says stop, actually.  get in His presence, get back into His peace, and you will find your answer by proxy.

when confusion strikes, we should seek His peace, we should open a line of communication to God by asking, we should remember the last thing He said, and we should stop our worrying long enough to seek His face.  that’s it.

Father, i pray that my friends would stop worrying.  i condemn a spirit of confusion, and release peace to take it’s rightful place.  devil, you can longer suppress the peace that God has already given, and i command you to leave in Jesus’ name.  Father, you are not the author of confusion, but of peace.  You have not given us a spirit of fear, but of love, of power, and of a sound mind.  You have said we’ll get to the other side.  Please remind us of Your word as we seek Your direction.  in Jesus’ name, amen.  

 

be blessed.

come home.

prodigal.  spoiled.  missed.

here is a story about a wealthy business owner named joshua.  he had two sons, timothy, who was 27, and trevor, who was 20.  timothy had always worked in his dad’s office.  timothy actually was the office manager at his dad’s firm, a very loyal and passionate employee.  trevor graduated high school 2 years ago and worked for his dad through high school, and has been working toward possibly assisting in a new firm under his dad’s umbrella.  joshua was a fairly traditional and prudent man who was extremely wise with his financial assets.  joshua had set up trust funds for both of his boys wanting to give them more than he had when he was their age.

trevor had a little bit of a rebellious streak in him.  during high school, he would party and hang out with the wrong crowd.  his older brother, timothy, was the exact opposite.  timothy worked hard for his dad in high school supervising the landscaping crew and learning about his dad’s business.  at 19, timothy took over his current position.  timothy is married with 1 kid and another on the way.  trevor always despised his brother and never felt he could match up to him.

one day, trevor just grew sick of this life and demanded that his dad liquidate the trust fund and cut trevor a check for the full amount.  this trust fund was basically trevor’s inheritance.  at 20, trevor had seen enough television to know that las vegas was the place to be, so that is where he went.

trevor’s father was very wealthy and a very prudent man.  trevor’s trust fund had $1.6 million in it.  trevor had no idea.  he took all of this money to vegas, and managed to be broke after 3 and a half months of gambling and girls.  the last straw came when he had become such a gambling addict that he chose the thrill of gambling over a place to live, a car to drive, and a decent life to live.  he had been fired from his job because he spent his days in the casino.  he had earned a reputation as an easy target to win money from.  the only problem is he was broke but was a great liar.  one night, he had placed a bet that he couldn’t cover.  not only did he lose the bet, but the little money he had was taken from him, his clothes were taken, and he was beat up and left for dead.  three days later, he somehow found himself in a homeless shelter wearing torn jeans and a 1986 rose bowl sweatshirt and shoes that were purchased at flea market down the street.  still recovering from his injuries, he barely made it through the soup line for his first meal in 6 days.

to this day, he doesn’t know exactly what possessed him to walk out of that soup kitchen and hitch hike 420 miles to his father’s house.  after 3 days of walking, and riding in strange cars with strange people, he was 2 blocks from his father’s house.  in this moment, he realized something.  at one point of his life, he had everything, and now he had nothing.  nothing, except his father.  in the time he was away, he lost mother to a rare form of cancer.  his older brother apparently had disowned him.  timothy and trevor hadn’t spoken since trevor left.  it was later revealed that trevor’s dad had tried to contact him, but trevor had changed his cell phone number to a phone that ended up being taken from him the night he was left for dead.  he had found himself 2 blocks from at best a roof over his head, but at worst rejection.  he decided that if he got to see his father one last time, it would be better than anything vegas could offer him.

he made the 2 block walk, and saw a familiar face on the front porch.  it almost seemed his father was waiting for him.  trevor was crawling toward his father’s house at this point, beat down from the life of a prodigal.  off in the distance, joshua saw his son and took off running.  when joshua got to trevor, there was a stench that could only be described as putrid and inhumane.  trevor said, “dad, i’m so sorry.  i ran out of food, out of money, and i ran out of dignity.  can i scrub toilets at your firm?  i honestly don’t even deserve to be called your son.”

joshua took his son to the house on his back.  joshua had some business associates and other family members at the house that night.  when joshua opened that door with his son on his back, he screamed, “my son is home!  he was lost, but i found him!”

joshua plopped his son on the couch was just bought at a high end local boutique.  joshua yells to the guests, “bring me my armani jeans and a silk shirt!!  bob, i need you throw some kobe steak on the grill!!  my kid is home!!”

in the meantime, timothy was upstairs in the bigger loft watching all of this unfold.  he runs downstairs and adamently demands an answer for why this prodigal brother of his deserves this treatment.  after all, timothy was now a partner at the firm, and had done nothing but make his father proud.  all that joshua could say was, “this is my son.  he was lost, but i found him.”

within 1 month, trevor was restored to his position at the firm, and is now himself a partner at his dad’s firm.

jesus tells a similar story in luke 15, and we know it as the prodigal son.  this son was given everything, lived a life that didn’t glorify his Father, but came back to open arms and was thrown a party.

the biggest thing that i take from this parable is that trevor’s sonship wasn’t revoked.  though he squandered $1.6 million, he hadn’t squandered his place in the family.  he hadn’t been separated from his father’s love.  he came back and wanted to be a part of his father’s work, but as a janitor.  his father wanted full restoration.

when we feel like we have strayed from God, He waits for us with open arms.  He runs to us and desires for us to feel like we are back in our rightful place: as sons and daughters of the Most High God, when in all honesty, we never left.  as God sees it, you are righteous and holy.  Jesus already paid for your missteps.  we’ve been given grace.  though we think one day we may be able to squander it and come to the end of His grace for us, He shows us so much more.

it is God’s desire to draw all people to Him, including professing Christians.

God isn’t mad at you.  He just wants you to come back home.

be blessed.

if you were to die tonight…

where would you go?  if you were to die tonight?  this is one of the scariest questions i had ever heard up until about 14 years ago, when Jesus found me.  up until that point, for most of my life, i thought i was saved.

i grew up in church and when i was in Christian private school, i didn’t cuss.  i was a great kid.  i rarely got in trouble with my parents or at school.  the church leaders loved me and i was respected in my classes as a “Christian.”  i talked a great talk, but if i were to die on november 12, 1997, i would have gone to hell.  i was living a pretty good life anyway, so not much changed on the outside when i got saved.  i just had a different motivation to live right, and that was to honor Christ.  let me fast forward about 5 years.  i had come to the end of my time at Bible school, and was in a rough place.  as a Christian, i had managed to get into the drinking scene and all but had forsaken church.  i knew i was in a rough place, but there was something in the back of my head that knew i was still saved.  that, i believe, was the Holy Spirit calling me to a closer walk with Him.  i was on this roller coaster ride of works and faith for about 3 years after that when i basically gave up.  i “recommitted” my life to Jesus, and started going to church regularly, serving in our church, and had quit drinking.  less than a year later, i became a youth pastor, because God had called me to the ministry back in high school.  i was finally doing what i felt he put me here to do.  about 7 months later, junk happened, and i left the ministry to move to the big city, and restart a life there.  about a year after that move, i began to really miss where God had assigned me, and moved back a year later.  i’ve been here for a year and a half, and i am rediscovering God’s purpose for me.

that is my story concerning God.  at one point, i thought i was saved and i wasn’t.  at another point, i thought i had strayed out of God’s reach and He reeled me back in.

i want to say this:  there is NOTHING that can separate us from the love of God.  NOTHING.  but, not all are saved or will be saved.  why?  because God has given us a choice.  He has given us freewill to do this His way or our way.  our way leads to hell, His way leads to heaven.  you may ask, “if God is love, how can He send people to hell?”  my answer is this:  God sends nobody to hell.  we simply refuse to take the route that goes to heaven.  Jesus said, “I am the way, the truth, and the life; no man comes to the Father except through Me.”  God’s original intention for each of us was for us to walk with Him in perfect harmony.  He is a good God and wants us to enjoy life, and enjoy it to the fullest.  if we allow Him to exchange His life for ours, our ticket is not only punched, but He gives us the train.  God’s intent is not to change us.  His intent is exchange.  this for that.  hell for heaven.  my mess for His perfection.  and guess what?  it has already been paid for, and there is nothing you can do to earn it.  just give in.  once you have come to the end of your rope, there is Jesus asking you, “are you ready to do this My way?”

in my lifetime, i have had the opportunity to talk to a lot of people about their relationship with God, and their responses range from “God who?” to “I raise three people from the dead before breakfast everyday, yes I know Jesus.”  maybe you know that you know Jesus.  you have been committed to Him for a long time and strive to know Him more deeply than ever.  i am happy for you, but you’re not the one I’m talking to.  maybe you are reading this because you just don’t know.  you may go as far as to say you’re agnostic, and say, “sure, He might be out there, but I don’t know.”  i would ask you to keep reading.  you might say, “justin, i’m going to heaven because i’ve always been a christian.  i don’t know when it happened, but it’s just always been this way.”  i would ask you a few things then.  do you know ABOUT God and heaven, or do you know Him on a personal level?  when was the last time you talked to Him, or Him you?  i can’t consider my wife my wife if i have only talked to her once or twice in really extreme circumstances when i really needed her.  that would be silly and impossible.  how come we treat God that way with our crisis faith?  if He bailed you out, it probably wasn’t because you have a relationship with Him, but because He was trying to show you He is real and wants to have a relationship with you.

you may ask, “how can i really know i’m saved?”  i would ask you if you still call Christianity a religion, or embrace Christ in a relationship.  Jesus is not a religion.  He is a person, and is desperately in love with you, so much so that He gave us perfect life for you.  you might have friends that are Christians, but that doesn’t make you a Christian any more than being around happy meals makes you a hamburger.  plus, you’ll know.  there will be no doubt.  you’ll be able to point to a time (maybe not exact) and say “that is when Jesus came to live inside of me.”

in the Bible, Jesus tells a story of heaven, and in the story, there were folks that said, “we did this and that in Your name,” and Jesus said He never knew them.  today, we can change the words of the story a little and say, “we went to church, and had Christian friends, and went to the soup kitchen once even though we hated it.  we lived a pretty decent life, and gave a dollar to the drunk dude on the corner once,” only to have Jesus say “depart from Me, I never knew you.”  It is not works alone that punches our ticket or purchases our fire insurance policy.  Jesus is not impressed by the good stuff we do or the life we think was good enough.  He wants a relationship.  if we can’t say on that day, “Jesus and i go way back.  i talked to Him just five minutes ago.  we don’t talk as often as we’d like, but we were working on getting there.”, then we might reconsider our eternity.  i’m not saying that we have to stop what we’re doing every five minutes to pray, or even every hour, or (ahem) every day.  there are hours that go by that i don’t talk to my wife.  i have responsibilities at work and in life that keep me from spending every waking moment talking to her.  what lets me know that we are still married is that there was a day we got married, and there hasn’t been a day since that we decided to stop being married.  we have had rough times, but our marriage isn’t based on the rough times.  it’s based on a decision to stay married.  we love each other.  we are one.  i don’t wake up in the middle of the night wondering if we’re still married.  she is the main part of my life.  everything i do is for her.  i work to provide for our family, and i spend time with her because i love her.  i do these things not because i have to, but because i love her and i want to.  it works the same way with God.  the biggest way we can tell we’re saved and on the right path is that we are living for Him because we want to and have a relationship with Him.  it is when we base our eternity on works that we get in trouble.

a radio preacher i listen to some nights says it this way:  “what did you do with Jesus,” meaning did you believe in His sacrifice and live for Him as evidence of your belief?

you can know if you are going to heaven or hell.  ask Jesus.  He’ll tell you.

if you need somebody to help you, please email me at twelvelife@gmail.com or you can catch me on facebook.  i would love to help you get started in a relationship with the Christ i know and love.  please don’t let these words pass if you are getting that “gut check” feeling or if your heart is beating fast.  those are signs that something may be off.  i know that’s how it was for me.

to my Christian friends and family:  if you are still reading this, please pass this on as you may know somebody who may be on the fringe of salvation.

let me pray for you:

“Father, i thank you for saving me.  i was a mess, and You came and set me free.  i thank you for all of the people that You have surrounded me with, and i ask that they would come to know You in the way You intended.  if there is anybody out there that wants You, please reveal Yourself to them in a big way so that they can’t miss You.  i also pray for the people that will read this and do nothing concerning You.  i thank You that You love them and are coming after them in love, only to get them out the mess they call their life.  You are good and Your mercy endures forever.  in Jesus’ name, amen.”

now, if you don’t know Jesus, or what He did, here’s the cliff’s notes version:  Jesus, the Son of God, Who has always been, came to earth a little more than 2000 years ago because we needed rescued from our sin.  sin is anything that is against the will of God.  the Bible says that the wages of sin is death.  death and eternal hell (a place of nothing but fire and screaming souls) was our punishment. but, Jesus in His goodness came to the earth, lived a perfect life.  a perfect life was needed as that was the only permissible payment for sins.  they used to sacrifice animals as sin offerings.  Jesus became our sin offering for all sins past, present, and future.  Jesus didn’t stop there, though.  He sealed the deal by taking the keys of death from the devil and rising from the dead three days after He died.  about 40 days later, He went back to heaven, and now desires to have relationship with us.  you can read more about Jesus’ story in the first four books of the new testament of the Bible.

if you want to start your walk with Christ right now, pray this with me:

“Jesus, i have messed up.  a lot.  i now know You died for me and were raised from the dead.  thank You for Your sacrifice.  i believe that all of this is truth.  i want You to take over my life and live Your life through me.  i give You me and I receive You.  i give you my life in exchange for Yours.  i don’t know how all this works yet, but i believe You will show me.  thank you for living in me and i look forward to getting to know You.”

if you prayed that prayer, you have opened your heart to God, and are now saved.  if you don’t go to church, please let me know.  i can help you find a good place to help you grow and get you connected to other believers.  if you don’t have a Bible, let me know.  i can get you one.  you can also get a Bible app for your phone if that works better.  put in “you version” as a search in the android market or app store, and you’ll find a great resource.  the Bible is the fastest and easiest way to get to know God.  also, please let me know if you prayed that prayer.  i want to continue to pray for you.

it is my prayer that all of my friends and family come to know Christ in an intimate way.  be blessed.

 

Congestion…

(I started this post last February; I happen to be dealing with physical congestion, so I felt it may be a good time to post this)

con*ges*tion: 1) overcrowding; clogging 2) an excessive or abnormal accumulation of blood or other fluid in a body part or blood vessel.  (Thank you Dictionary.com for these definitions)

The second definition is what inspired this post.  The first definition is the spiritual application I would like to focus on.  The last couple days I’ve had some of your run of the mill throat congestion.  Unfortunately, this doesn’t really work for me as a call center representative.  I was on my way home from work after taking care of something I absolutely could not put off, and God told me that the congestion I’m experiencing was spiritual before it was physical.  He said that I am experiencing a spiritual congestion.  He continued to show me that there are good things in me that are desperately trying to get out, but there is a kind of spiritual phlegm that is blocking these good things from spilling forth.  In analyzing my life, I began to see what He was talking about.  The junk in my life doesn’t make me a bad person or any less saved.  Unfortunately, it’s so much worse.  It robs me of purpose and destiny.  It hinders forward movement.  It blocks the flow of the anointing out of my life.  Most days it’s not even blatant sin that presents this clogging as it is usually something slightly deceptive to just throw me off of what God wants to do.

I know I am not alone in the fact that I know there is something more out there than just the circumstances I am going through now.  I tend to blame my circumstances on just my circumstances and think that I am unable to impact my own surroundings.  This is a lie from the devil.  We were created and predestined to be more than conquerors.  We have been given the keys of the kingdom of God, and are fully able to impact our world.  Though we may not be able to control everything and everybody around us, we are able to set the spiritual atmosphere by shedding light and dispelling darkness.  Just as my phyical congestion was underlined by spiritual congestion, all physical changes were spiritual in nature first.  When we understand this truth, we will learn to truly impact our world.

If you find yourself spiritually congested please remember that it does not make you a bad person or any less saved.  Seek Father and His healing power, and allow Him to “un-clog” you.

How do you know if you are spiritually congested?  I knew when I could see my future and knew instantly that there was junk standing in the way of me and what God has put out there for me to have.  All of us have goals and most of us have an idea of how to get there.  However, things in life show up at our front door step and knock lightly.  We let this thing in, and it means only death and destruction.  This could be that seducing thought, it could be that nagging temptation, or the thing you let in last night, the night before, and night before that.  We must not be overcome with the light knocking.  We can’t be forced into anything that didn’t start of as a quiet thought first.  We must learn to take those thoughts captive and release God’s power over that thing.  I have learned it won’t come back as hard next time.

Sometimes, the congestion comes from what appears to be something good.  Currently, I am trying to promote at my job.  I have seen a lot of good relationships built, and have managed to do some good work.  Things at work are going pretty well for me.  In the past, I was so ministry focused that my job suffered.  Now, the tables have turned.  The thing I longed for has become the very thing I have been unable to invest the proper time into.  This has been due to shift of focus.  I took my focus off of what I know God has shown me for my life.  I thank Jesus for new opportunities every day to turn the tables back to normal.

When we hear God’s words, dream dreams, or are given vision, we are supposed to find a way to let them out in a healthy way, otherwise they get buried inside and are forgotten or get fragmented.  I can’t tell you the number of dreams I’ve missed out on because I didn’t remain available to figure out what they mean or even write them down.  God doesn’t give us things for us to do nothing with them.  I beg you, please find somebody to share this stuff with.  It could be a spouse, a close friend or family member, or a pastor or spiritual leader.  Give these things the proper focus or they will build up and will ultimately give you a spiritual clog.  I have experienced this, and learned that God will stop giving if we do nothing with His words.  He won’t stop loving us, and this won’t condemn us to hell, but it really limits our intimacy with Him, and limits our ability to carry out what He has shown us to do.  I have found that these spiritual clogs make the heart sick, just like physical congestion makes the body sick.

What we need is to yield to the flow of God.  He can un-clog us if we let Him.  Be blessed.

slow down…

i was on my way home from work one night last week. i generally drive around the speed limit and that night was no different. i was about ten minutes from town when God told me to slow down. i was traveling a little faster than speed limit so i slowed down to 70. God said “slow down”. so, i slowed to 69. “slow down,” He said. so, down to 68, 67, 66, and 65. finally, i was cruising at 65. i wasn’t sure of the reason for what i thought was just an exercise in obedience. i got into town, and He showed me a couple of things.

first, He reminded me that i tend to test my limits.  on the road, i generally don’t drive below the speed limit.  i want to get there (wherever) fast.  here is what He reminded me of: if the Holy Spirit is in me, (and He is) then i have patience, a part of the fruit of the Spirit from galatians 5:22-23.  my senior pastor takes this concept a step further to equate Jesus as our patience (among many other things).  i may be like you and ask, how do i slow down my life?  i have found it more difficult to slow down than to keep going past my limits.  matthew 11 says that His yoke is easy and His burden is light.  i have grown so used to carrying a heavy load of junk, that i find it difficult to put down.  am I the only one out there?

second, He showed me that I am always more focused on the destination rather than enjoying and getting as much as i can out of the journey.  this concept struck me like a ton of bricks even though it’s not new to me.  from mid 2008 to early 2010, i found myself in an unfamiliar place working for a company that i knew wasn’t my long term solution and caught a glimpse of what my future could be.  i regret to say, i missed out on so much of what that time of my life had to offer.  i was attending an incredible church that i wouldn’t sell out to.  i got the opportunity to learn a lot about the inner workings of ministry, and was introduced to the grace life.  i completely missed both of these.  i was in the right place at the right time to do an awesome work for a large city.  i was being mentored by someone who “got it.”  now, i have no problem preaching the grace life, but i had no idea what this mentor of mine was talking about at that time.  my focus then wasn’t on what was directly in front of me.  my focus was on the vision for my life which i felt didn’t include my situation at that time.  when i was praying about where to seek employment when we moved in april of 2010,God told me exactly where to go, and used my experience at the company i was working for at the time to get me there.  i am forever in debt to that company.  i hear all the time to focus on today.  this has been the single most difficult concept for me to grasp.  am i the only one out there?

third, He showed me that sometimes He slows us down to keep us from getting somewhere ahead of His timing or to keep us out of danger.  after i slowed to 65 that night, i saw a vision of a deer running across the highway.  i would imagine i would’ve hit that deer had i been going the 74 that i was going.  this would have presented quite a few issues for me.  i can’t exactly afford a new car right now (insurance wouldn’t fix my car as i have an older car with liability only), and i have a long commute to work to which i require a vehicle that runs well.  i believe God was keeping me away from danger in this moment.  as i look at what else this could have meant, God shared with me that i tend to get ahead of Him.  i’m one of those guys that says, “it’s God’s will.  we should do this now.”  let’s just say that i’m not quite as patient as i would like to be.  am i the only one out there?

as we slow down, God is able to work with us.  let me put it this way.  let’s say instead of going 65 that night, i was going 165.  i understand my 4 cylinder compact can’t go that fast, but allow me to dream.  how dangerous is it to make any kind of directional adjustment going that fast?  nascar doesn’t write my checks, so i’m sure with my driving skill level, it would be very dangerous.  i can negotiate a curve going 65 much easier than 165.  i believe that God works a similar way.  we are easier to steer if we slow down a little bit.  if we are going too fast, it becomes dangerous (for us) to be steered (by God) in a different direction.

let’s move at God’s speed, and try to not think we must continue to push our limit.  since He is in us, He will do the pushing.  galatians 2:20 says “it is no longer i who live, but He who lives in me.”  God is willing and able to walk out our lives.

slow down.  enjoy the journey.  be blessed.

revealation…

yes, i know i misspelled the title of this post.  forgive me.

God wants to bring to light what has been hidden, except He wants to shine that light through us, His light-bearers.  i really believe we are in a season that God is showing old truth in new ways so that we actually catch it this time.  God hasn’t rethought the Bible, but is using different methods to show His Word.  recently, for example, i got the meaning of philippians 4:13.  this is a scripture most Christians know by heart.  all of a sudden, i got it.  a revelation, or a reveal-ation.

revelation is an understanding of truth.  revelation is that light bulb that goes off, and we say “wow!!” or “duh!!”  revelation may make us say, “why didn’t i see that before?” or better yet, “i thought i knew that, but now i know i know it.”

when i was a freshman or sophomore in high school, i was in a sunday school class when i got a revelation of God’s love.  as i write this, that particular revelation is washing over me again.  this revelation brought me to tears then, and does to this day.  God, the Creator of all things, loves me.  *pardon me as i soak in that for a little while*

for some, revelation may show the right path to go down.  it may bring light to the wrong path you’re currently on.  revelation is simply a revealing.

maybe you need revelation.  ask God.  He’ll give it to you.  the only problem with revelation is that it may appear differently than what i thought.  a lot of times, we would like God to confirm what we are already doing as what He wants for us.  unfortunately, revelation may bring radical change.

a friend of mine got some startling revelation.  she thought her career path was supposed to go one way, and after her revelation then confirmation, she has seen that God’s plan is much bigger than hers, and His plan was a career path change.  if your plan for your life is doable, you need revelation.  God’s plan for you is for Him to live His life (which is impossible to do in human strength) through you.  God’s design is the crazy.  God’s design is beyond what we can think or imagine.  revelation works the same way.  it is overwhelming and could never have been cooked up in an independently (of God) operating human mind.  though it is overwhelming, it comes in all sizes.  it was overwhelming when God handed me a job after a conversation we had on my drive home one night.  he said one word to me, and it happened to be the name of the employer i would have within 3 months.  revelation brings change.  we get revelation because there is something we are missing that we need and God really wants to give.

revelation comes with peace.  revelation comes with a sigh of relief.  revelation can  also come with a heightened sense of awareness of negative things.  for most people that hear the word revelation, they think of the last book of the Bible.  this book is filled with dragons and multi headed beasts and so many things that may seem scary (and are), but it was the revelation of john the apostle.  God showed him something that we need to be aware of.  that being said, revelation brings light to something that may be hidden.

your need of revelation may be the revelation that God exists.  God provides this to everybody.  you just have to accept it.  your need of revelation may be “where do i go from here?”  God isn’t the author of confusion, nor will He leave you lost.  continue to seek Him, and you will get your revelation.  revelation doesn’t always come at the time we want it, but it will always be there when we need it.

i really believe that we are in a season of heightened revelation.  i believe that more believers will receive more revelation as we start looking at 2012.  i believe that 2012 will be a year of God putting feet to the revelation He has given us.

it is my prayer that you remain open to God’s reveal-ation.

be blessed.

all things…

i can do a few things through Christ Who strengthens me.  i can do some things in my own strength.  i can’t do anything because i am a sinner saved by grace and this life is my cross to bear.  believe it or not, none of these sentences are from the Bible, specifically philippians 4:13.  philippians 4:13 says i can do all things through Christ Who strengthens me. we clearly don’t understand the word all.  in the past i have interpreted that word all as “anything my mind can comprehend.”  that’s a lot of things for any  of us, but that is not what Scripture tells us.  that verse says all things.

that being said, let me take you to 1 john 4:17.  the first part of this verse reads “as He is, so are we in this world.”  that is an amazingly bold statement.  i used to read this scripture as “as He was (on earth), so are we in this world (now).”  this is wrong too.  when Jesus had skin on, He laid aside His deity.  He was only capable of what Father gave Him strength for.  now, Jesus has put His deity back on and is capable of absolutely anything.  read that verse now.  as He is, so are we in this world.

i’m about to do a major no-no for Bible scholars, but i think this drives it home.  let’s put those two verses together now.

i can do all things through Christ who strengthens me because as He is, so am i in this world.  we must stop reading the Bible as individual verses and get the big picture of God’s design for us.  we are capable of so much more than pew sitting and occasionally helping somebody out.  we are capable of all things.   it is Jesus’ strength He provides to do all things.  deified Jesus, not Jesus the man.  it is Jesus Who was there at the beginning of the world that lives in us.  it is Jesus on a white horse that lives in us, not the Jesus who humbled Himself and gave up His life to some Romans.  it is Jesus in His full power that lives in us.  it is that Jesus’ strength provided to do all things.

be blessed.

the drought is over…

tonight, i heard rain.  lately, we’ve been getting a little bit often (2 or 3 times a week).  no, we’re not seattle yet, but you have to understand my perspective.  at the mid point of june, we had seen a third of the amount of the rain (year to date) as they did during the dust bowl.  drought.  i hear God say, “the drought is over.  the rain you have sought Me for is coming.   you can see it.  you can feel it.  make the decision to praise Me for it.”  fortunately, He isn’t only talking about wet water coming out of the sky.  He is also talking about a spiritual rain on the land of our hearts.  we are about to start moving into fall, a new season.  a new season is about to dawn, but the darkness left by this season is still on us.  God says,”it is darkest before the dawn.  I am bringing you out of the drought you have been in, physically and spiritually.  as you seek Me, you will find Me.  you will find Me inhabiting your heart, showing you the power you already possess.  you have power not only over the storm, but also the drought.  all you have to do is believe and let Me do as I please in you.”

God is not as concerned with the physical as He is the spiritual as the physical only follows the spiritual.  you may be going through a kind of personal drought and God is saying “look up to the sky, see that your drought is over, and your rain is here.”  may we not be like doubting thomas and not trust Jesus at His word.  may we simply accept what He says as truth for He is Truth (john 14:6)

be blessed.